I'm having a relapse of the big kind and I'm finding it hard to find inspiration.
I dont know why, I don't know how I get out of it. I'm stuck and it's making me so fucking angry. This is the relapse of the worst kind. It contains all the elements to make me feel like I'm back in the dark hole again.
I'm dizzy. My ears are ringing louder than ever. I'm bloated to the max. I feel sick. I'm tired. I'm anxious. My eyes hurt. My eyes are bloodshot. I don't want to do anything.
It seems that every time I manage to achieve something big, my body reboots so i have to start again and find inspiration to be strong until the horrible symptoms pass.
Well the worst thing this time is I can't seem to find any inspiration. I really do feel that low. I'm even tempted to try the anti depressants again, symptoms or no symptoms.
It's time to ride it out for the fourth time. These really are testing times.
I'd rather go out and have a panic attack than feel like this :(
How long!?
11 years ago
Hey,
ReplyDeletetry not to get too disheartened (I know thats easier said than done)..
Ive had another wobble myself, Ive woken up feeling weak, shakey.. thats combined with days of my stomach not being right again, stomach pains, nausea, loss of appetite, bloating (needing to be near the loo too).. its just awful and my mind is doing overtime (again). So I understand how hard it is to carry on and stay positive etc, Ive had 4 - 5 yrs of this, so I know it can be depressing! Just try and tell yourself its all part of recovering, ups and downs etc but youll get there.
You have my email address, its also my MSN, so if you need a chat..
Take care xx.